3 layers down

Reality

My body cries
leaving me with an echo so empty,
it almost gives me the impression I'm gone.
Though, I see my body lying in bed.

I've been here before
What do I feel?
Well,
Failed. Alone. Lightless. Loaded. Embarrassed. Numb.
I'm sick of putting myself in these situations again and again.
I never learn.
Most of the times it's just the little things. Just a sign misinterpreted.
It feels like I'm programmed to do this·
Incident that triggers me. Wrong neuron lit up. Boom.
Wrong reaction.
"You are always too much!"
Oh. Did I do it again?
That only makes it the billionth time.

Excuse the desperate tone.

End of scene one

-

Going deep

I enter into the sea, a sea that doesn't look familiar. I am with them.
Two seconds pass and I realize they're gone.
Wait. I feel a weight on my shoulders. It's a backpack.
What the hell am I doing in the sea with that burden?
How did they let me enter loaded with this thing?
It isn't even mine, you know.
It's not my backpack.

I look around but they're nowhere do be found.
I am officially alone.
And I am starting to drown. That thing has no pity on me.
I curse and I scream because they are irresponsible
How could they leave me?

I see people around me, swimming.
Oh, there's also a boy I met yesterday.
Yes! Thank you!, I think to myself.
Let's hope he knows how to help...
I approach him and I say Hi, do you remember me?

Save me. I am drowning.



Shit, that dream really got me.

End of scene two

-

Going deeper

My steps are unsteady and the world seems so big.
I'm around 2.
I see her on the couch. She is not talking, just looking at the wall.
Her gaze is empty, I feel intimidated.
She is there but she is gone.
I am scared.
I would like a hug. But she is not looking at me.
I want to hear her voice, but she is silent.

I come back from school.
I'm around 5.
He is sitting on the couch.
I give him a hug and go to my room.
I want to play with someone. I'm bored.
So I go back again.
But he doesn't want to play with me.
Says he is tired.

I go to my room and sit on the floor.
This house is so silent.
Nobody is talking, no lights are on, no music.

My body cries
leaving me with an echo so empty,
it almost gives me the impression I'm gone.
Though, I see my body lying on the floor.
But I don't know what's happening.
I don't understand.
How can they leave me alone, loaded with so many unspoken truths and silence?
I am just a kid.

I start crying and crying
I'm drowning in a sea of tears
but they can't hear.



If I could just erase this.


End of scene three

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